Poster Pup

Dozer likes to eat his own Shih Tzu.

While I am determined not to be one of those people who freaks out and talks about every poop or burp their child (dog) makes, this thing is really frustrating because every time Dozer swallows his own feces, I inevitably have to chase him around until I pin him down and pry open his unwilling puppy mouth to fish out the shit.

I remember before nabbing him from his family of tricolored Shih Tzus, he had a shit-eating episode while I was bonding with him. I looked up at his current owner, unsure of the dog-eating-own-doo doo etiquitte. She quickly, skillfully grabbed it out of his mouth and was like "Dozer! You bad dog! Awww..haeheh so funny."

I rationalized it that it wasn't really going to happen when I brought him home. Not in my house, I thought smugly to myself. It's different at my house. People just don't go around shitting and eating.

Well, something I have learned now that I am on puppy poop eating duty 24/7. Your precious little angel will do EVERYTHING you thought he wouldn't do in your perfect, doggy ideal of a life you were planning to provide for him. He will pee on your arm, shit in your bathtub, cry at night, chew your freshly laundered panties, and run around like a rabbit on methadone.

He will puke for 5 hours straight then look at you so morsefully while laying on your last clean sheet that you completely forget about the five piles of puppy throw up and call 4 different vets while collecting poop samples so they can test him. Because he might die. And all of a sudden you feel if this little monster breathed his last poopy breath you may just collapse into yourself and never reassemble.

So that is the catch, I guess. It's never like you envisioned, but soon you begin to feel the saitisfaction, love, and intense protective instinct. It empowers you. It gives you another purpose other than contemplating your own shit (Who am I? Ugh, work is hard! I hate my clothes! Omg...relationships.)

Now their is another little guy who is actually imbibing his own shit. So your own self muddling gets tossed to the side. Sorry, but there's no time to work out if you want to travel around Europe instead of work the nine to five or navigate your bicurious tendencies, you are on puppy poop popping prevention. Deal.

:)